Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Welcome Celine Chatillon

I've got a lovely guest this week and I hope you'll all help me make her feel welcome. The lovely and multi talented Celine Chatillon is here with some inside info about her and a very sexy teaser from her ongoing series with Brandi Whyne. Welcome Celine!

1. Plotter or pantzer?

Definitely a “pantzer”. I’ve tried writing detailed outlines of story ideas I had, but when I began to sit down and just write… Well, a lot of that detail went out the window because the characters didn’t want to do “what I told them to do” from the detailed outline, and so I had to scrap it. The ornery bastards! J

2.  What would you like to share with new writers? Any suggestions or advice?

Three words: “Don’t give up.” There will be a lot of nay-sayers in your life that simply don’t get it that you love to write. They’re not writers, so there’s no way they’ll ever begin to understand where you’re coming from. My advice is to treat these people kindly and with respect, but don’t follow any suggestions they may or may not give you in regards to writing. You need to find other writers and creative people to confide in and ask questions of when you’re having writing problems. It’s okay leaving the “non-writing” loved ones and acquaintances in your life out of the picture when it comes to your creative process. In fact, they’d probably prefer it that way.

If you’d like to read a whole book (a short one, but it’s funny) of new writer’s advice, may I suggest Defeating the Slushpile Monster by Cindy A. Matthews  It’s also available in e-formats from Uncial Press under the alternate title The Curse of the Manuscript-Eating Slushpile Monster:

3. If you could be a character in any of your books who would it be and why?

Easy one—I’d be Brandi Whyne from my Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures series. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be young, horny, foxy redhead with the whole universe after your luscious curves? ;-)

4. Looking over the past year, what has been the best moment for you in your writing career?

In this past year, simply finishing up the latest chapter in the Brandi Whyne series and seeing it published has been the best moment. I’ve been struggling for several years now, just to make ends meet and to get through a nasty divorce and all the financial hardships that entails. 2011 finds me happily remarried, still having financial hardships (unemployed from a “day job” currently), but I’m writing again. It makes me feel whole. There’s no other way to describe the sensation.

5. What do you enjoy doing with your spare time, your non-writing time? 

Spare time? Spare time??? Is that like spare change? I’m pretty short on both! J

Actually, I enjoy taking walks with my handsome hubby and singing in a championship Sweet Adelines chorus. How’s that for good use of spare time?

6. If you could change one thing that you have written, what would it be?

I’d change my former last name on some of my previous releases to my current last name. J

7. When you wake up in the morning, what celebrity do you most resemble?

My handsome hubby (fellow author A.J. Matthews) says I look like the actress Meryl Streep. It’s very nice of him to say so I think. (Poor Meryl’s husband! She looks that bad in the morning?)

8. Are you in love? Have you ever been?

Yes! I think as you get older, you discover that it’s better to marry your best friend than the hottest young guy you can pick up at a bar. It’s not that you no longer don’t want to have lots and lots of sex (I do!), it’s just that making love with a best friend is that much more meaningful. Plus, you have the added bonus of actually enjoying doing similar activities together—including writing.

9. What kind of comfort food do you like best?

Things with lots of calories and carbohydrates in them like fresh baked bread with lots of melted butter slathered on top. Hmmm…. I’m getting fat just thinking about it!

10.  What do you hope to achieve in life and when will you know that you have been a success?

I don’t think I’ll ever know that I’m a “success”, so I’m trying to teach myself to stop worrying about it as well as stop worrying about what others think about me. God loves me as I am and made me for a purpose that I can only imagine.

A very nice definition of success can be found in this poem by Ralph Waldo Emerson that I have on a poster:


To laugh often and much;

To win the respect
Of intelligent people
And the affection of children;

To earn the appreciation
Of honest critics
And endure the betrayal
Of false friends;

To appreciate beauty,
To find the best in others;

To leave the world a bit better,
Whether by a healthy child,
A garden patch
Or a redeemed social condition;

To know even one life
Has breathed easier
Because you have lived.

This is to have succeeded.

Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures: Chapter 6--Kidnapped by Time Bandits!  
by Celine Chatillon 

What do you get when Star Wars meets Sherwood Forest? Mix in a little Pirates of the Caribbean, Fanny Hill, Futurama, and The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and you get Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures (with Robin Manhood and His Totally Sexed-Out Space Pirates). With a series title that long, you know it’s going to be filled with loads of laughs, tons of sci-fi fun and plenty of hot sex!

In Chapter Six, Kidnapped by Time Bandits, Brandi is sucked into an alternate dimension and forced to do a little sucking on some not-so-nice space pirates—including Robin Limpdick, the evil twin of her own lover Robin Manhood. After a good licking, she meets Captain Jacques Swallows and his right hand man Francois who put her to the test. Can Brandi convince the Time Bandits that the crew of the Pulsating Purple Parsnip can do more than just throw a great orgy?

Excerpt set-up
Brandi must pass the Time Bandit's test in order to ensure her crew's continued existence...

Jacques Swallows raised his hands. “The test will now begin.”

Francois quickly and quietly disrobed his master. I was not disappointed in what I saw. The time bandit had a beautiful body, buff and muscular, a hairless chest and a cock length that rivaled Little John’s. My hand fell to my clit, and I began to stroke myself. It throbbed as my vaginal muscles clenched at the thought of that bad boy sliding into my tight passage. I looked to my lover for permission to bed the stranger for the good of our crew. He nodded slightly and smiled.

“Now it your turn,” Swallows said, indicating that both Limpdick and I were to undress. I tore off my silky flowing shirt and kicked off my boots even before my opponent had a chance to remove his shirt.

“So, it’s a three-way?” Limpdick said, laughing. “I can tell you she gives a good blow job, so if you let me give her ass a good pumping you can— ”

The time bandit cut him off mid-sentence. “Brandi gives excellent fellatio, you say? Good. How about you, Limpdick?”

“How about me what?”

“Can you suck my dick as well as Brandi can?”

My challenger paled. “Say what?”
 * * *

Not up on the series? Never fear! Catch up with Brandi's new book trailer:

Also available in the Brandi Whyne series:

Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures: Chapter 1—Captured by Space Pirates!

Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures: Chapter 2—Lashed at the Mast!

Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures: Chapter 3—Bound for Adventure!

Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures: Chapter 4—Little John’s Very Big Problem:

Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures: Chapter 5—The Search for Brandi’s Crack:

And now, a little more about the sexy Celine:
Celine  Chatillon’s Bio:

Celine Chatillon is the alter ego of multi-published contemporary romance novelist, Cynthianna. ( She's also the writer of the 2009 EPIC nominated writer's guide The Curse of the Manuscript-Eating Slushpile Monster (Uncial Press), which is now available in print from Amazon under the title Defeating the Slushpile Monster by Cindy A. Matthews ( ).

Celine finds writing erotic fiction a very pleasant departure from working as a freelance manuscript evaluator and copyeditor. Her erotic-romance tales with eXtasy Books include the humorous science-fiction series Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures, Gifts Well-Timed, and The Loves of Her Life. Her books with Liquid Silver Books include Help I'm Falling for the Vampire Next Door and Hanging with a Time Surfer among others. Her collection of SF erotic short stories, Heavenly Bodies, is available from Mojocastle Press.

Boldly going where no genre has gone before... Celine Chatillon!
Celine's Dreams blog:
Amazon Author (Kindle) page:


Jackie Rose said...

You were going through a nasty divorce and kept writing humor? I've always thought that us humor writers were all close to clinical depression. But it works for us, right?

Jude Mason said...

Hi Celine!

I'm so glad you chose to join us here. You've had some great upheavals in your life recently, but seem to have come out ahead of the game. Marrying someone you like is an enormous plus. And, I adore the poem by Emerson. Oh, and excerpt wasn't bad either. Gulp! Scorching!

Thanks for being my guest!


Lisabet Sarai said...

Hello, Celine!

I love your sense of humor. Delighted to "meet" you!


Celine Chatillon said...

Nice to meet you, too, Lisabet. ;)

Thanks for having me as your guest, Jude. Yeah, my life lately has been one upheaval after the next it seems... I guess I'll just have to batten the hatches and hang on tight! (But it helps to have a handsome hubby next to me when the going gets rough, too.)

You're right, Jackie--I think humor writers understand the "dark side" of life as well if not better than most. Sometimes we just have to keep on writing... And once you start a humorous series, you've just gotta keep on writing it. I'm not about to "give up" my dream just because certain others wanted to bring me down! ;)

Naomi Bellina said...

Love that character name, Limpdick! Humor is good to cope with many situations.

Celine Chatillon said...

LOL!! Yeah, Robin Limpdick is a pretty memorable name, isn't it? ;)

I'm probably one of the few erotic-romance writers who think humor and sex go hand in hand. But what could be more fun than sex? Why not have a laugh along with some zany characters having a good time? ;)